亲子分享区之为什么我们要读书？

我们和孩子第一个亲子分享尽然是“为什么我们要读书？” 在看到孩子一早就去上学，心想孩子了解到为什么我们要读书吗？灵机一动，就在我们的亲子分享区问一问吧！
这是我们连续几天的脑筋急转弯。。内容如图：

可见，妈妈是一位很长气的人，长篇大论。而爸爸比较果断，话不必多说，三言两语就行了。女儿嘛。。是大女儿写的。。有她自己的领悟力，自己的想法。。也有她那单纯的思维！
在这儿，好无自私地分享我们的点滴是希望你们也和孩子们一起脑筋急转，不分孩子有多年幼或有多年长，这是一个很好的课题。在孩子和父母的分享当中，能够更加了解彼此，也能解答孩子对于读书的迷思。我和丈夫在如图的解说纯粹是自己的想法和家庭观念，并非答案，只供参考。您和孩子可以有自己的解答。在此，希望孩子们能够快乐地学习，快乐地成长，能走更远的道路！记得，我和爸爸会一直陪伴着你们！

*此文的内容只供参考。须知每个小孩都来之不同的生活环境和家庭背景所以教导的方式也肯定因人而异。

感恩的心

这些菜园蛋看起来很普通，和菜市场里卖的没什么两样。。但是，对我来说勿轻情义重。那是带着爱心关心细心的菜园蛋。为何我会这样说呢？？那是因为给我这些蛋的人和我是没有血缘关系但是且把他辛辛苦苦饲养的鸡孵出的蛋给了我，一毛也不收。曾经和他太太帮我照顾女儿们的保姆保爸如今已年长，满头白发的他们天天唯有种种菜种种果树再也无法帮我照顾孩子。虽然如此，我们一得空就会到他们家去深望他们。和他们终是有说不完的话，他们也终是有给不完我们的东西例如食物，食材等等。他们每次下厨煮他们的拿手菜肴都会叫我们到他们家用餐，辛辛苦苦耕种的蔬果菜都会分享一些给我们。这种的恩惠是无价的，是珍贵的，是难得的。。所以，我们很珍惜他们，非常地感恩他们那种无私的爱，很真诚的爱。我希望孩子们和他们一样懂得付出懂得什么是真诚的爱，无私的爱。也同时和我们一样懂得感恩。懂得感恩的孩子最幸福！

善心从同理心开始

从小都一直看着爸爸妈妈做善事，很自然地也养成我们四个兄弟姐妹的善心。在组织了自己的家庭也想把爸爸妈妈的信念代代相传。

做善事是发出与内心，是一件很自然的事。所以，在教养孩子关于慈悲，我们并没有很刻意地教导。其实，父母只要善用机会教育，在日常生活中引导孩子，那已经很足够了。

我本身认为要引导孩子的慈悲心首先要培养他们的同理心。那是因为如果孩子能够站在别人的立场感受，用他人的角度看事，懂得同理别人后，慈悲心就很自然地被启发。

现今的孩子不但聪明伶俐而且才艺超群但是人缘且不佳。我觉得这是以同理心有很大的关系。打个比方，有些小孩会这样说“我不喜欢你，你好臭。”这样的一句话，孩子很显然地没有同理心。孩子懂得做自己是好事，但是父母应该教导孩子在展现自我的同时，也要对他人多一份的体贴，这样才不会伤害到他人的感受！

培养孩子的同理心，我们首先能带领孩子观察他人的情绪。通过观察他人的情绪可了解到自己的反应，可能对他人所造成的影响而顾及到他人感受。

再来，要求孩子参与家事。这可让孩子更了解到父母身心状况，孩子也会发现自己有能力照顾他人便给予付出及关怀。

最后，在慈悲心的培养，我们要给予孩子正确的观念 【行善并非要做伟大的事，慈悲必须行有余力，要从生活中的小事做起】记得，父母也须要给予鼓励因为当孩子得到善的回应，他的慈悲心更为滋长而会持续行善！

*此文的内容只供参考。须知每个小孩都来之不同的生活环境和家庭背景所以教导的方式也肯定因人而异。

原来，金龟包是"感恩之宝"!

今天一早就急着起身做包子给老公和孩子。这是我第一次做，本身不是爱包之人但是想学做的原因是老公和孩子都喜欢吃。今天学做乌龟包是因为老公很想吃，再加上这个月是九王爷诞。

趁老公和孩子还在睡梦中，我已经在厨房里打仗，时间很紧凑。眼睛一直望着钟点，害怕孩子上学迟到。做到一半又冲冲忙忙地叫孩子起身准备上学。老公便帮我打点孩子而我就继续做包子。

好不容易终于完成了！很兴奋！孩子也很兴奋！拿了一个给孩子试一试。。大女儿说“MMmm..很好吃!" 我开心极了！轮到二女儿试吃。。她说“MMmm..一点点好吃。。一点点不好吃!" 我自己也咬了一口！哎哟，包子有点硬也不够香甜！是个失败的糕点！！

我有点失望。。也许，女儿知道我失望也看到我满头汗。。她坚持要把包子带去学校吃！！这一刻，我很感动！感动因为女儿很懂事。。感动因为女儿很体贴。。感动因为女儿懂得爱。。感动因为女儿的善解人意。。我也只能说：感恩！感恩！

今天的金龟包虽然失败了，但是换来了我们之间更深一层的爱，这是无价的。。

人生观点

读了一遍文章，觉得很有意思。希望女儿能读到此遍。


（一）对你不好的人，你不要太介怀。在你一生中，没有人有义务要对你好，除了我和你妈妈。对你好的人，你一定要珍惜、感恩。
（二）没有人是不可代替的，没有东西是必须拥有的。看透了这一点，将来就算你失去了世间最爱的一切时，也应该明白，这并不是什么大不了的事。
（三）生命是短暂的，今天或许还在浪费着生命，明天就会发觉生命已远离你。因此，愈早珍惜生命，你享受生命的日子也会愈多。与其盼望长寿，倒不如早点享受。
（四）爱情只是一种感觉，而这感觉会随时间、心境而改变。如果你所谓的最爱离开你，请你耐心地等待一下，让时间慢慢冲洗，让心灵慢慢沉淀，你的苦就会慢慢淡化。不要过分憧憬爱情的美，不要过分夸大失恋的悲。
（五）虽然很多有成就的人没有受过太多的教育，但并不等于不用功读书，也可以成功。你学到的知识，就是你拥有的武器。人可以白手起家，但不可以手无寸铁，紧记！
（六）我不会要求你供养我下半辈子，同样的我也不会供养你的下半辈子。当你长大到可以独立的时候，我的责任已经完结。今后无论你坐巴士还是奔驰，吃鱼翅还是粉丝，都要自己负责。
（七）你可以要求自己守信，但无法要求别人也守信；你可以要求自己对他人好，但不能期待人家也对你好；你怎样待人，并不代表人家就会怎样待你，如果你看不透这一点，只会给你增添不必要的烦恼。
（八）我买了26年的六合彩，还是一穷二白，连三等奖也没有中过，这就证明人要发达，还是要努力工作才可以，世界上并没有免费的午餐。
（九）亲人只有一次的缘份，无论这辈子我和你会相处多久，你一定要珍惜共聚的时光，下辈子，无论我们爱与不爱，都不会再相见。

Sports Day 2013

Both Syuen and Ning was so looking forward for the Sports Day. Every day they will ask me when is the Sports Day. And every day, they will tell me how hard they had been practising in the school.

Week after week, day after day..finally, the Sports Day took place on the 29th of June 2013. Both girls woke up early that morning, feeling excited! Even I was feeling excited too! Ning Ning was a little bit down as she is only 4 years old and there was no category that she could take part. I told her that she could take part next year and this year we can be Syuen Syuen supporter. Although Ning Ning couldn't take part, I can see that she enjoyed herself on that day too, running here and there with the cousins.

As for Syuen Syuen, she is overjoyed to be the first winner. I saw her jumped so high after winning the run. She is really really happy!

After the Sports Day, I asked her how she felt. She told me that she is very happy because every time when they were training in the school, she only managed to get number three and this time, she got number one! I laughed and told her that it is always okay if we lose. There is always a winner and a loser, the outcome is never important, what matters is that we have tried our best and be participation. I'm indeed proud of her!

Saturday Morning!

I always felt bad that the kids had to be in the office every Saturday morning, doing nothing at the office while I was busy with my work. So, in order to make them fully used their time, I always allowed them to bring their toys to office. And to keep them active, their bikes are always in the office.

Every Saturday morning, they will cycle outside the office compound. Luckily, the compound is spacious! All I need to do is keeping an eye on them. After the ride, they will play their toys in the office. This is the time when I can do my work while they play with their toys. Well, sometimes they quarrel over small matters and complain to me..this makes me nuts!! With the works in hand together with their endless complaint and noises really drives me crazy!!

Trying to resolve their complaint or any quarrel is never a wise choice, it makes things worse. I let them handle themselves, let them resolve their problems. I do not want to be the judge, judging who is right..who is wrong..I do not want to be the peacemaker, helping them to solve every single little argument. I'm confident that they can handle themselves.

In the meantime, I noticed that they got creative with or without their toys. Ning Ning is more into imaginative play while Syuen Syuen is more to creative play.

Ning Ning always had story line in head and she could imagine many many things which is "invisible" to us. I always saw her open an "invisible" door and step into another place, it's kinda funny. She acted like Charlie Chaplin!! Sometimes, with her toys, she could came up with story. I especially love her story about Mr. Crocodile driving all the small animals to school!

Syuen Syuen always loves to play with every little stuff that she managed to get her hands on. Even a broken stuff could be a useful stuff once in her hands. She is creative though to make use of the unwanted stuff. She loves to keep "rubbish" and sometimes, we make fun of her by saying her a rubbish collector. Then, she will always respond that they are not rubbish, we shouldn't be wasteful! Hahahaha...This is what she did after she found the broken armchair! Happily, they took turn to pull one another.

To keep them more occupied, I brought them some art work to do in the office. They enjoyed it and they learned to be patience through art works.

At the end of the day, they will help me to clean the office, from wiping, sweeping to mopping all by themselves. I'm sure proud of them.

Rich or Poor

I came across this article when I was teaching the students. And I would like to share this very meaningful article here in my blog. This is how the story goes.

One day the father of a very wealthy family took his son to the village to show him how the poor lived. They spent a couple of days and nights in one of the poorest houses in the area.

On their return to the city, the father asked the son, "How was the trip, son?"

"It was great, Father."

"Did you see how the poor lived?" said the father.

"Yes, I did, Father," said the son.

"So, tell me what you learned from the trip?" said the father.

"I realized that we have one dog but they have four dogs. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of the garden but they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden but they have millions of stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front garden but they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on but they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants that serve us but they serve others. We buy our food but they grow theirs. We have walls to protect us but they have friends to protect them."

The boy's father was speechless.

"Thanks for showing me how poor we are, Father," added the son.

~The End~

盲点

身为父母的我们都期望孩子以后能过舒适的生活；住洋房，驾名贵车，最好能够成为专业人士，赚很多的钱。看来，在现今的社会下财富，名利及职业视乎断定了一个人成功以否。在孩子上小学时，成绩便成为了老师及家长最关注的事件也断定了成绩较差的孩子将来不会成功而成绩较杰出的孩子将来一定很成功！

我本身是位老师也是一位妈妈，我教过许多孩子也了解父母的苦心，但是我本人不认为成绩能衡量孩子的前途。对我来说，前途是无法衡量的，如果能衡量的话，有谁能够告诉我是用什么计算法，可不要告诉我是用加和减，那是很肤浅的想法啊！

我深信父母们都有同样的盲点，
（一）害怕孩子输在起跑点。
（二）只要读好书，获得辉煌的成绩便有美好的未来。
（三）安排孩子上零零种种的才艺班但又怕累坏孩子。

记得有一次，大女儿四岁那年老师向我投诉女儿ABC还不会认而那些同样和女儿一起三岁入学的已经会了。那时我是这样回答老师的，“今天她不会，明天她就会了”，过后，我便和老师谈一谈我们对孩子的期望及把孩子提早入学的原因。其实，我们并不怕孩子输在起跑点，让女儿提早入学的原因纯粹是为了让她学习一些人际关系，让她跟小朋友互动，学习沟通及礼貌。我们也向老师说明我们比较注重品行，成绩不太重要，重要的是别让我们害怕孩子输在起跑点的举动而催产了孩子那好学之心！虽然输在起跑点，但人生还有多么遥远的路要跑啊！女儿，我们希望你不管输赢，用“坚持”跑完全场！

身为老师的我，学生的成绩固然肯定了我的成就以实力。虽然如此，我并没有因为成绩而施压学生们，反而我注重他们的身心。我深信拥有良好的身心及品行，学生的成绩也逐渐进步！最让我记忆深刻的是一位三年级的学生，一向来名列前茅的他在一次的国文考试只得了48分，忍住泪，向我道歉并承诺下次会考取好成绩。我便回应说“没关系，我们一起努力，我希望你下次能进步10分。。”说到这里，他还是忍不住落泪了。。此事，让我体会到考试不只是评估孩子的知识也同时评估了孩子对人处事的能力。这就是父母们的盲点，很多家长都忽略了考试过程的重要性，考试只不过评估孩子的知识，但是孩子从准备应付考试直到获得成绩的过程面对了零零种种的情形及情感（包括正面以负面的情商），这才是家长应该关注的。在此，借这个机会，想感谢所有的学生们，谢谢你们和我一起努力！

提到女儿的成绩，虽然不错，但是就是碰到一些“闹事鬼”说到，“你是老师喔，你女儿怎么只考到第三名啊？”有点吓到的我，只好笑笑而已。原来有些人认为老师的孩子一定要名列前茅，真的是个蛮有趣（怪）的想法。虽然，我一向来不认同填鸭式的教育，我还是把女儿送到学校就读，原因只有一个；让她学习人际关系。在家，除了复习学校课业，我们都会进行许多活动，做一些手工，学一些孩子们喜爱的课题，进行户外活动等等。我热爱家庭教育(homeschooling)但是在怡保几乎是没有人懂得这门特好的教育。幸好身边还有一位看事情比较通透的丈夫，很支持我的理念，他也是我们的得力助手噢，是我们户外的德士司机爸爸！

许多父母都会送孩子到各种各样的才艺班，这很好啊！但是盲点是在于到底孩子上的才艺班是否适合他们，是否真正能发挥他们的潜能呢？？把孩子的时间表填得满满的，看到孩子累坏了，家长开始心疼了便把一些“比较不重要”的才艺班删除。大部分家长都会把绘画班，乐器班，音乐班，美术班删除；被保留的都是心算班，英文会话班，智商班等等。其实，我们应该事先了解孩子的潜能，然后选择理想的教育者，再慢慢地栽培孩子。这样的话孩子不会累坏而能发挥孩子的潜能，这不是两全其美吗！此外，有了多余的时间在家，孩子和父母也多了一些互动便促进了亲子关系。可惜的是，往往家长都排斥艺术这方面的教育便埋没了孩子真正的才华。也许，父母们应该不断地提升自己在于教育孩子这方面吧！我本人也不断地学习教育这门复杂的学问，也不断地挑战自己的极限，也不断地在trial and error中吸取经验。

The Best Moment of the Day

I always enjoy looking at my loves one from behind, especially seeing my hubby sending my two little monkeys to school while listening to their conversation from behind. To me, it is always the BEST sight and the BEST moment of the day! With this, I'm sure that it is definitely a GOOD START of the day!

Though not every morning my hubby had the opportunity to send the kids to school as sometimes he had to outstation very early in the morning but I knew that he will make every effort that he could afford. I'm happy that he understood the importance of spending quality time with the kids.

Choosing The Right Bike For Your Child

As Li Syuen had outgrown on the tricycle, we decided to buy her a bike. I found that it is kinda hard to choose the right bike so, I decided to browse a few website before paying the money. As we all knew, kids can experience or learn the laws of inertia, pedaling, steering, braking and sitting on a saddle so, it is a must item on our list.

The very first thing to consider is the right size of the bike. We wouldn't want it too small or too big for our daughter. Some people might consider to buy a bigger size for their children as they are afraid that their children might outgrow it too soon but we must bear this in mind that a over-sized bike is dangerous. Click here for the guideline of the right size http://bicycling.about.com/od/howtoride/a/bike_sizes.htm The bike should fit the child. He or she should be able to dismount and straddle the bike flat footedly. And then with a slight lean of the bike, get their bottom back onto the seat, put their foot on the pedal and ride away.

The next thing to consider is the brakes. There are two kind of brakes, coaster brakes and handbrakes. Coaster brakes serves better as children's hands are small and limited hand strength. Make sure the brakes are good quality as it is stiff and strong enough to handle the weight and speed. If the bike only has brakes that work by rubbing on the wheel rims, it is best to have rims made of alloy. Steel rims are dangerous because when they get wet, they have a low co-efficient of friction so it takes much longer to stop the bicycle. Ideally the hub, spokes and rim should be metal.

Li Syuen's tricycle was past down to Li Ning. Li Ning had fun with her tricycle.

Hubby joined in the fun too.

婚姻关系比亲子关系更重要！

为什么婚姻关系比亲子关系更重要呢？

家庭愈是以子女为中心，孩子就更变本加厉地以自我为中心；当孩子愈难以满足或讨好，养育工作就成为一件吃力的事。这是现代父母的盲点。所以，以家庭的人际关系来排列，[夫妻]这一环实在不可忽视。若要教好孩子，应该优先处理好婚姻关系；若要做好父母的角色，应该先学做好夫妻的角色。

婚姻关系优先处理好有三个优点：
1）从小子女学到良好的两性相处模式，人格较健全成熟，往后的情爱关系也会比较稳定。
2）当子女成才过程中出现任何状况，由于夫妻关系不错，就可以第一时间内，结合两人的智慧和关心来处理。
3）从小子女不会因为得到过多的注意力而变得自我中心，不听管教。

因此，如果您有以下的习惯，请改掉：
1）直呼[老公]为[爸爸]或称呼[老婆]为[妈妈]，最好还有其他亲密的称呼，例如[亲爱的]或[老公]。
2）整晚陪伴子女睡觉，子女应学习尊重爸妈有单独相处的需要。

为什么呢？？
夫妻才会注意到自己在婚姻中所扮演的角色，便会有更弹性的空间来自我调整。至于睡觉的问题，婚姻生活里，夫妻同床重要？还是亲子同床重要？如果子女哭闹不休，就一定要顺从她/他的意思，今后要如何继续教下去呢？

以上是我很想和朋友们分享的小小技巧。(^ ^)

Exam! Exam! Exam!

I do not know about you guys. As for me, until now I still had dreams that I was late for the exam, I was sitting for the exam, I couldn't finish my exam and so much dreams on exam. I guess that exam did somehow had an impact in my life.

Can you imagine that Li Syuen will be sitting for her exam next week? This is her second exam and she is only 4 years old! Can you imagine that she will be sitting for exam from now until the age of 22 (that's if she gets into the U)?

Luckily, my husband and I have the same thinking. We just let everything goes naturally. We do revise with her as usual but in her own PACE. We go SLOW if she doesn't understand, we do not RUSH her, we do not SCOLD and we do not CANE. Our activity still goes on with or without the exam. We did not change our routine or plan due to the exam. We did not work EXTRA HARD for the exam. We just treat it naturally. The MARK is always the last to take note.

Reading and learning still continue on, sitting for the exam is a must since we didn't homeschool her but result is the last or perhaps I should say result or mark is INVISIBLE to us.

This is a very good opportunity for my hubby and I to reassure ourselves of our aims and what we had holding on to for so long.

There are always arguments between the pros and cons of the examination. I wouldn't want to discuss this here as I knew that it will be endless and there is no right or wrong answer. One thing that I realised is that some school changed the name of 'exam' to 'assessment' with the aim of 'less stressing' in exam for both children and parents. In my opinion, it is an useless effort. Whatsoever of it's pro and cons, it is important to set a HEALTHY MIND of both parents and children.

To us, it is just another worksheet for my little girl :) We will take this opportunity to teach my girl that WE STUDY FOR OURSELVES, NOT FOR THE EXAM.

More Than Just Responsibility

When I'm doing my cook in the kitchen every night, SyuenSyuen will take out her homework to do. I wouldn't have to spend time nagging at her and this is what I'm glad of. I do not like to urge her to do her homework as I do not want her to feel antipathy in learning. Maybe because we provide her a learning environment for her since she was young, she loves to learn. We want her to enjoy the process of learning, not just her responsibility. But, one thing I realised is that responsibility and independence work hand in hand.

This is what had happened. One night, when SyuenSyuen was doing her homework, she accidentally spilled the pencil dust all over the floor. Without hesitation, she quickly got her tools and started to sweep the floor. It's late at night already yet she hadn't finish her homework. Most parents will stop their children from cleaning and hurried them to do their homework. I had that in my mind too but I stopped myself just in time. Yup, I understand that it's late already but what she did is because she knew that it is her RESPONSIBILITY. She didn't want anyone to help her because she wants to be INDEPENDENT.

Since she was young, we let her to do her own things, from taking care of herself to doing work for others. She had done well, just that sometimes need some encouragement from us. So far, TIMID is her only obstacle in the process of learning to become more independent. As parents, we should let go our hands, let the children explore, don't be afraid that our children will get hurt or whatsoever. Sometimes, we just need to think out of the box :)

Violent vs Violent?

When NingNing was born, SyuenSyuen has been behaving badly and I knew that she did so to attract our attention as we are kinda busy with the other little one (NingNing). My hubby and I went through endless of effort to make things better. We did research, asking around for advice and went through all sort of method. We felt blessed as she turns out fine now. Or perhaps, I should say that she is being well-behaved, a very kind hearted girl and always thinking for others. Her nanny, her teachers and even her headmistress praised her. As her parents, we are proud of her.

As for now, we are a little worried about NingNing. Before she turned one year old, we knew that she was different. She is clever or perhaps, we should say that she is mischievous! She always managed to did some action which made us laugh. We are happy to have a little monkey girl at home which really brights up our day.

But, these past few weeks, she has been acting 'violent'. She cried a lot too. She will beat her sister, sometimes without reason! Things get worse when I saw her pulling SyuenSyuen's hair until SyuenSyuen fell down from the chair. SyuenSyuen never fight back! She loves NingNing a lot. What make thing even worst now is that she got into fight. This time she was hurt, with a scar on her nose bridge. She is only 2 years old!! Haizzz.....

I felt so sad on her behavior. We never cane our children because to us, it is violent. We believe that if we cane our children, one day they will become violent. It is because they learn from adults. I really need to work out the way. To us, punishment and caning is just not our style. What I know is that we will still keep to our principle in educating our children.

Here, I would like to share a very good article by Penelope Leach, child pyschologist.

Children have the right to use their bodies to express their feelings, but they don't have the right to hurt someone. Even if you generally let other kinds of misbehavior slide, you need to draw the line at letting your child hit someone in anger.

Of course, this doesn't mean that when your 2-year-old hurts someone, it's okay to hurt him back. If your child hits someone and you spank him or discipline him by force, you'll only teach him that aggression is an acceptable way to express his feelings or to get what he wants. Instead, take your child's hands and say, "No hitting. I know you're angry, but we don't hit people.Hitting hurts."

Some experts suggest that parents offer an angry child a harmless way to "vent" his pent-up fury, such as pummeling a special pillow. This, in my opinion, is a mistake. Anger is a feeling, and feelings don't get "used up." In fact, it's clear from recent research that "harmless violence" is a contradiction in terms. A child who's encouraged to wallop his pillow in anger is more — not less — likely to see walloping a person as an acceptable alternative.

When your child behaves aggressively, be clear with him that it's not his anger you disapprove of, but his violent expression of it. Don't tell him not to get angry or not to show that he's angry. Simply acknowledge his feeling — and perhaps even sympathize with it — but then remind him that it's much more constructive to use his words to tell you why he's upset. This way, the two of you can try to come up with a solution to whatever's vexing him.

The 'Q's

There are so many 'Q's in this world. Often, parents stressed their children on IQ (Intelligence Quotient). IQ is a score derived from one of several different standardized tests designed to assess intelligence. It is known that IQ is important as it is the basic to success. Parents exposed their children and newborns to IQ lessons, even their unborn ones. Therefore, prenatal education become popular these days. Can you imagine that children started to learn when they are just as big as a pea?

Then, out of no way, came the EQ (Emotional Quotient). EQ is an ability, skill or a self-perceived ability to identify, assess and control the emotion of oneself or others. New research found that success = 20% IQ + 80% EQ. Parents become aware of EQ and started to send their children to EQ camp. I was a facilitator for an EQ camp for a few years. I met all kind of children and parents. Okay, I'll leave out the story here.

CQ (Creative Quotient) needless to say is all about creativity. Creativity plays an important part in our life. Being creative helps us to solve multiple problems in any situation.

So, in my mindset, IQ, EQ and CQ are important in educating myself and my children. I started to research on there 'Q's. To my surprise, there are so much more 'Q', there are SQ (Spiritual Quotient), HQ (Health Quotient), FQ (Financial Quotient) and so much more. But, I guess if I would have to catogerize them, it will still in the end goes back to the 3 main 'Q' (IQ, EQ, CQ).

At the beginning of the year 2011, I came across AQ (Adversity Quotient). With God's will, I'm lucky to attend a talk on AQ a few months ago. AQ is the most scientifically robust and widely used method in the world for measuring and strengthening human resilience. So, imagine that your children have IQ, EQ and CQ, meaning that he/she is successful but without the AQ, he/she won't be surviving. This means that AQ is as important as the 3 other 'Q's as AQ is all about how a person gets back on his/her feet after a setback or failure. Don't tell me that your children face no setback or failure before he/she successed.

In conclusion, these main 4 'Q's link. But, remember every children is different. They learn in their own pace. Most important is their interest. Children learn best through games.

Here, I would like to include a picture, can you think of which 'Q' we use to achieve this?? The answer is easy, right? :)

My Way of Teaching

Watching them growing up each every day, I felt that God is really being kind to me. I pray hard to God to have them healthy and happy every day.

I do think that education is very important to them. I teach them when they are still very young. Can you believe that I taught them when they were still in my womb? This might sound ridiculous to some people. But, those who understand this, they knew that I'm doing the right thing. I won't say much about this here.

I do try my best to teach my children from A to Z. I think every parents do the same but with a different way, attitude and demand. For me, I would try many ways to make my children understand what I taught them with a slower pace. I wouldn't shout at them or really MAKE SURE they really understand me. Perhaps, my main aim is letting them LEARNING IN A HAPPY WAY.

I do not demand or ask much on how many or how well they understand what I have taught them. They will learn it IF NOT TODAY, TOMORROW. I think every parents should have this kinda attitude when teaching their children. The lesson will be STRESSED-FREE! It's good for both the children and the parents. At least, it won't hurt the relationship between the parents and the children.

Children learn more and learn well in a stressed-free class. They dare to ask, they dare to tell and most important of all, they are being true to you. They won't lie. I think that it is much more important than being a genius. A good attitude children will eventually do well in their education.

Patience is the key.

Teaching other people's children is tough, teaching your own children is even tougher. I tried many ways teaching my daughter from speaking to reading, recognizing, morality, attitude and so on. First of all, I teach my daughter to talk but it is hard for my daughter to learn. My daughter is better in listening rather than speaking. She understands what we told her. She can follow instruction very well.

Mood is quite a factor in teaching toddler to talk. If she is in the good mood, she can speak very well, with the right sentence structure and grammar. If she is in a not-so-good mood, she will just say "no..no..no..".

These days I have been teaching her to recognize things on the road. She can catch up with one wording word like the car, road, tree, flower, grass and I'm quite happy with that. So, I started to try two wording words. First, I tried the "lamp post" but she kept on saying "lamp". After several attempts, I said "no..no..no.. is lamp post laa..". This time she finally make up the word, she said "lamp post laa..". Hahaha...this really makes her father laughing at her..ooh no...perhaps my hubby is laughing at me!

A good environment is also very important in terms of building one's character and attitude. I have been teaching for many years and I personally find that children even adults are easily influenced by the people around them, needless to say TODDLER. Toddler is naive. They have no sense of right or wrong. They don't understand what is beating, why you beat her. So, they are even easier influenced by people around them. Just like my daughter, she follows what she saw her cousins were doing. I remember clearly that she followed them jumping down from the sofa. It's dangerous but she has no sense of that. If she really fell down and broke her teeth then, I guess she will understand that it is wrong to do so. But, prevention is better than curing. This is what I did. I neither scold nor beat her and her cousins. First, this is because they are not my children, I have no rights to scold them. Second, scolding and beating is not very effiency in educating her. So, I talk to her nicely. If one day, she repeats, I will punish her ( not physical punishment ) but something that are more direct to the point. For example, no sofa for her for a day or two or cleaning up the sofa as she had made it dirty. Honestly speaking, from that day onwards, I never bring her to her cousin's house. Perhaps, I'm over-protected but this is the best and the most effiency way from letting her learning all the bad manner.

A relaxing and enjoyable environment is also very important when you try to teach your children. Make the whole teaching process very interesting with singing, playing, exercising and so on. Doing art work is what really attract them.

Toddler's span of attention is really short. Make each lesson as short as 5 minutes. Time can be extended as toddler gets older. You could have a short break within each lesson or maybe have a bite. Above all these, you as the educator must be patient. Don't get angry easily, don't give up easily. Try again and again, today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow...one day, your children will get it right. All the best to all the mothers, fathers and educators!

Spending Quality Time

Last week, I brought my daughter to my hometown (Pontian) to visit my family. During the stay, we had a great time. That's the week that I really take care of my daughter FULL TIME. And I realised that it could be quite tiring taking care of children full time. I had sleepless nights because my daughter is unable to get used to the new environment. Then, I had painful time that I had to let her cry due to her unreasonable request. After that, I had tired moment as I need to carry her wherever I go. It could have been easier if I'm not pregnant with the second at this time.

After the trip, I realised that although it is quite tiring but it's really worthwhile. When we are back in Ipoh, her father realised that she has really grown up. She begins to talk alot, she knows things around her, she does her daily routine herself, she responses without frustration. My little baby girl has really grown up. I'm really happy about it.

If I could have a second chance to choose again, I will choose to take care of her full time. In fact, I do regret to let somebody elses to take care of her. I wish I could have spend MORE quality time with her. This not only help her to learn, to grow but also it is the best bonding between us.

And of course, we did not forget her father too. Her father and I have to work in the day time but we make sure that we spend the night time just with her and our little one in the womb. I sincerely hope this will be forever.

For A Better Environment

I have been always wanted to bring Li Syuen to friends' and relatives' house but something always holds me back. Sometimes, my friends and relatives will also bring their children to our house. To what I have been observing, I found that I couldn't stand some children's and parents' attitude and character. Am I being too fussy? Or am I being overprotected?

I really love my daughter and I want the best for her. What I gave her might not be the best (for some other people's thought) but one thing that I'm very sure of is that I gave her all that I have unconditionally.

One thing that I seriously care is my children's character and attitude. And of course, their health too. So far, I have been very responsible in her health and of course, the baby in my womb. And I hope I will have the willpower to continue on.

Talking about character and attitude, I really couldn't stand those parents who love to compare their children with the others. "Eh, your daughter still doesn't know how talk arr??" , "Eh, your daughter is darker than my daughter." , "My children have my family genetic which is very good in Mathematics." "My children have high IQ." Oh my God, what kind of parents is that?? I'm indeed very shocked when I heard all these nonsense.

In fact, I wouldn't mind they tell me all those nonsense but please don't do it in front of the children. This is not good for both my daughter and their children. Children do understand what the adults are talking about. You might not be awared that what you talk day by day, bit by bit will bring up whatsoever your children. What I do believe is every child has his/her own milestone. You can definitely compare things or products but not your own flesh blood. They are not products. We know that comparing and talk negatively in front of the children is for sure not good for the children but please do remember that praising TOO MUCH in front of the children will also bring "side-effect" to the children.

One more thing that I couldn't stand is cleanliness. I don't understand why some parents overlook their children's cleanliness. This is a very basic matter that we have to take care of everyday, every hour, every minute. I met before children with dirty hands and feet that came to my house, some even wore dirty clothing. Yup, my daughter played with them, you know, they are your guests!! You wouldn't want to say something to offend them.

Children do get dirty, this I won't deny. My daughter gets dirty too especially when eating time cause I let her feed herself. She gets dirty too when she plays in the garden, building her sandcastle. After playing or eating, you can just give her a bath or just clean her up. It is as easy as ABC. Being clean could save your children from any germs and be healthy always. Lucky for me, my daughter loves cleanliness and I believe this is how we bring her up, to love cleanliness.

Choosing playmate for your children might be tedious. Oh no, did I sound too arrogant?? But, sorry to say that I do choose my daughter's playmate. First, of course cleanliness. Second, character and attitude. For sure every parents wouldn't want their children learning bad manner or action from other children. For example, if you let your child to play with a child who knows how to talk foul words, I can tell you for sure that your child will learn it in no time at all. I did not meant to be so arrogant, choosing playmate for my daughter. Maybe my daughter is being chosen by other parents to be or not to be their child's playmate. No one knows. In fact, I do not mind about this. I can choose people, people can also choose me. At least, I know that I'm trying my best to provide a better environment for my child. Some people think that if you let children to explore, to communicate with various of people, they will learn somehow. But, to me, I still think that this is not suitable for my daughter at such a tender age. Her thinking is still so naive. I will let her explore when she is older, around age 4 when she is better in jugding. For now, I think I will stick to my point.